Sometimes when i’m in a mindless state, like waiting for the water to boil so I can make some tea, or in line at the grocery store I imagine what I would do under different improbable circumstances - just to amuse myself.
Today I wondered and then immediately decided what I’d do if I could be invisible for an entire day:
I would wake up at the crack of dawn and make way to the nearest and most reputable animal shelter. Since i’m invisible and the whole scenario is already highly unrealistic, there would likely be a door that was left unlocked or a window at the right height for me to jump through just waiting to be easily pried open. Once I made my way inside I would select the cutest and cleanest puppy and simply lift it out of its crate and hold it carefully while I exit the way I came in. The plan would be to adopt it for the day and the reason i’d do this under the cover of invisibility is that it’s not possible in real life! You can’t just adopt a dog for a single day, you either foster it for (ever?) or actually adopt it for good. I’m not in the position to make that much of a commitment but I really do like dogs as it turns out so this would be perfect!
With my new pet in tow, i’d then go to the campus pool and take one of the floaters to the deep end and try to teach myself to tread water. I did learn years ago but this was in the Caribbean sea. Sea water and chlorinated water are two different worlds, and capabilities in one do not transfer to the other - for me at least. I try to float at the beach and I can glide atop the sea water until the end of time. I try to float in a pool I sink immediately to the concrete bottom. I’ve been trying to improve my swimming recently and have gotten quite good, but i’m still afraid to go to the deep end because don’t know how to tread water! Being invisible i’d be able to practice without feeling self conscious or without people running to interrupt my private class because they think i’m drowning.
My puppy, having being treated with whatever it was that made me invisible, is free to run around the pool edge while I try to learn how to stay afloat.
After some time we would leave and go to one of my favorite cafes. I’d walk straight into the kitchen and watch the chef make all my favorite dishes, notepad and pen in hand! How exactly do they get the vegetables to have that perfect seasoning and be cooked just right - do they do them in the oven? In a pan? both? I want to know! And for that green tea matcha latte that try as I might I cannot replicate - do they only use matcha powder and milk or do they also use actual green tea? I need to know this! After i’ve made my notes and learned my cafe recipes i’d sit outside and eat (i’m assuming my food will be invisible too eh) while I people watch with the freedom of not being watched back!
After this i’d take my puppy (who by now i’ve named Coconut) to a park and together we would run wild for about 20 minutes or until we’re exhausted then go directly to my favorite smoothie bar where i’d learn the ingredients and exact combinations used for the drinks I like best. One I know has dates, almond milk, cacao nibs and a couple other things but what exactly? And in what proportion? I will certainly find out and from then on strictly make them at home.
After a few other mischievous things like eavesdropping on people’s conversations, sampling food and fruit at Whole Foods that might not necessarily be available for sampling and trying out expensive lotions and face creams I have no intention of ever buying, Coconut and I would go home for a little rest before the evening, when together we would visit my favorite restaurants and spend as much time in the kitchen as I need to, writing down all the ingredients and instructions for dishes I love the most. After this I would never have to eat out again!!
We would then have another invisible meal, actually no, I would sample several dishes straight from the pots! And put some of whatever i’m having in a little bowl in the corner for Coconut.
With full bellies and a notebook full of no longer secret recipes we would return to the animal shelter and i’d say goodbye to my borrowed puppy, dropping her off the same way I collected her.
If it is the case that people aren’t able to hear me either then i’d turn on my Spotify and listen to and sing Amy Winehouse and Mumford and Sons at the top of my lungs as I skip along the sidewalks towards home. It would be a happy day for sure!
What would you do if you were invisible for a day?